Clever Evil Bitches

I received this earlier today from…you guessed it, a male (my hubby). Subject: Clever, Evil Bitches A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be… Read more »

Near death experience

:holy: My oven caught on fire Thanksgiving eve at oh, 2:15 am. Every freaking alarm went off in the house. It was my fault. Kindof. I turned my self-cleaning oven on before I went to bed knowing I would need it Thursday. No one told me the damn oven was wired for flambe. I woke to a shrill alarm and smoke all the way upstairs. It was so thick I could barely see, the fumes so noxious my eyes stung and I was coughing. My two little dogs and cat were having trouble breathing. Now mind you hubby is gimping… Read more »

Late as usual

I just bought my turkey. A 20 pounder. I hope the Butterball is thawed by Thursday. Can someone say procrastinate? Ha! I still have all of the trimmings to buy. I’m wondering if I can bribe my daughter. I don’t mind the cooking part, it’s the shopping part, the getting the house ready part, the pressure part, the I have to clean up the freakin mess after everyone is gone part, the hardest is the I want to write not entertain part. The holidays do it to me every year. I’m Grinch and my husband is freakin Saint Nick! I… Read more »

dos jokes

“I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor. Be careful ladies what you ask for, you just may get it. See below: A gentleman asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an attractive woman. The waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said, “This is from the gentleman seated over there,” indicating the sender. She regarded the wine coolly for a second, not looking at the man, and decided to send a reply note to the man. The waiter, who was lingering for a response,… Read more »

TGIF

According to the World Health Organization, there are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day. wow, that’s a lot of hum…. Ok so it’s been one of those weird quiet/busy/where has the week gone? weeks. I did my first ever workshop on Lori Devoti’s plot spot loop. It went OK, I have some wrinkles to smooth out, but I think a few people may have actually gotten something they could use out of it, so that’s a good thing. I had a really good conversation with my agent Kim yesterday. She rocks and I’m so glad to have… Read more »
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