What a cop’s wife fears

August 31, 2006 | Karin's Blog | 19 comments

LaDonna asked me last week, ‘How in the world did you manage with your hubby in danger, violence wise and hooker wise, for so many years?’

I was frequently asked a similar question: Don’t you worry? My standard reply was, my mother-in-law did enough worrying for the entire Department. But let me clarify by saying, I did worry, sort of. And here’s why I sort of worried but didn’t allow the fear to own me. First of all hubby is smarter than the average bear. He was born and old soul. He was highly trained. His brain works nonstop and he is an excellent judge of character. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said after we meet someone, “What a nice person.” And he has responded, “He’s a liar.” And sure enough it comes to fruition. He has always put the hurt on our daughter’s potential beaus and given the evil eye to some none too savory friends our boys have brought home.

I’ve also seen my husband in action. I’ve seen him morph in the bat of an eye from good-natured guy to bad-ass-don’t-fuck-with-me cop. The PD kept their officers in shape and well trained. They have to. It’s a jungle out there.

Now all of that said, there was one time when I nearly killed my husband because he…well here’s the story.

Sound asleep one night I was woken by a knock at my front door. I looked at the clock on the nightstand. 3:00 a.m. My heart stopped. I knew it could mean only one thing. I lay frozen in bed. Another knock. In slow motion I saw myself get out of bed. I felt like I was headed to the guillotine. As I walked very slowly toward the front to door, forcing myself to take each step, I heard the low scramble of a police radio on the other side. My worst suspicions were confirmed. My heart nearly exploded. I almost fainted right there in the hallway. I knew it was my husband’s sergeant coming to tell me he had been shot or worse, he was dead. So many things raced through my mind. How would I survive without this man? How would the kids handle it? The girls and boys loved their daddy, would they recover? Would I? I stood there for what seemed like an hour, my hand reached out, but unable to open the door.

Then I hear a voice. “Karin, open the door, it’s me.” Oh, I opened the door alright. I opened it so fast the butt head on the other side was taken aback. I punched him so hard in the trauma plate I nearly broke my hand, told him I hated him and then slammed the door shut in his face, and cried like a baby. He managed to cajole me into opening the door again. Surprised he asks, “Why d’ya do that?”
I explained he scared 20 years off my life, then asked him what the hell he was doing there.
“I had to 300 a kid and the foster home was down the street. I thought I’d come by and say hi, but I didn’t have my keys so I knocked.”

My response? “Who the fuck stops by to say hi at 3 a.m. in the morning?”

He apologized and left with his tail between his legs. I guess in hindsight up to that point I was just as scared as any other wife, but hadn’t dealt with it.

Then there was the day he told me (big mistake) he was going out with the warrants team and was front man. Boiled down, he got to bust down the door and yell, “Police!” Sounds exciting and I suppose for him it was, but he is also the first person the bad guys sees and usually shoots. I put my foot down after that day. “No more front door man!”

I found out that that wasn’t the first time, but it was the last.

As far as worrying about the hookers? Egads, they were a nasty lot. I can remember once driving through the town we lived in, which was not the town hubby worked in (that is a no brainier, who wants live amongst those you arrest?) anyway, hubby recognized one of his hookers, pulled over and told her to get back to his town. She just grinned a toothless grin and asked for a ride. I told hubby, “Don’t even think about it.”

My worries weren’t with the hookers out on the streets; it was the subtler ones, the ones who worked in the Department I had to watch out for. And watch I did.




  1. LaDonna

    Karin, I’ve been waiting for this one! lol. God, it was worth the wait. And you sound like a gal after my heart. The subtle chicks are defintely the ones you have to watch. A woman has to stay on her toes, and her husbands.

    Also, really cool hubby has such a good compass with people. So far, there’s only one person on the planet that gives me a really sharp pain in my solar plexus (which is where negativity/bad vibes hit me). My brother-in-law. lol. Thank God, he lives out of state.

  2. Karin

    It was a great question, LaDonna, thanks for asking. And yes, one must always BOLOF (be on the look out for) for the barracudas swimming silently through the halls of the PD.

  3. Theresa


    This was so interesting. A peak into the wife’s side of the cop’s life. That whole three am thing would terrify anyone. Considering the possibility must have always been in the back of your mind.

    So are either of your son’s planning on following in their father’s footsteps?

  4. Hubby

    Imagine how I felt getting hit in the chest by a naked woman at 3 in the morning. God she looked hot!

  5. Karin

    I was *not* naked!
    And yes, Raine, only once. I know he deserved more, but I needed to leave something for the kids.

  6. raine

    Karin–you only slugged him ONCE??!

    Sorry, hubby, you sound like a VERY nice guy…but I swear I would’ve tried to kill you myself!

  7. Sharon/Maya

    *snicker* Are you sure you hit him, Karin? Maybe he just flinched back and wheezed a bit because you were nakey 😉 Bet he had a hard time going back to work after that *g*

  8. Karin

    Don’t encourage him, Maya. He’s walking around this morning all sure fired cocky.

  9. Amanda

    Gotta love those cops. They are a breed apart. My hubby faces down an insane woman with a BIG butcher knife. Gun out, backup called, telling her to ‘put the knife down’. She throws it at him! Nicks his ear, blood everywhere. He puts the gun away and wrestles her to the ground. Backup arrives. “Murph, why didn’t you shoot her?” His reply, “Once she threw the knife, she was unarmed.” Then, he takes the uniform to the cleaners before he comes home from the hospital (3 stitches) so I don’t see the blood and freak out. LOL

  10. Hubby

    Got in a nasty fight one night on mids and got my left forearm cut up. They wrapped the whole thing in gauze. Came home and quietly crawled into bed that morning only to be woked up by a screaming woman wanting to know what happened. Never mind I had to go back to work later that night.

  11. Karin

    Amanda, I do love them! Your guy is tops!
    And hubby? Dear, if I would have known you were going to blab everything, I might not have invited you to come play here.

  12. May


    Karin, in six months, will you write a post on “How to deal with an incorrigible hubby loose on the blog?” 😀

  13. Hubby

    Hey, May! I resemble that remark!

  14. Elisabeth

    Oh, Geez. He’s taking over. But it’s fun to watch. 😉

    Karin, I’m with Raine. I’d have hit him more than once.

  15. Theresa

    Karin said–Don’t encourage him, Maya. He’s walking around this morning all sure fired cocky.

    Lol. I’m beginning to think he doesn’t need any encouragement.

  16. Edie Ramer

    Officer Friendly needs his own blog. This one isn’t big enough for both of you, lol.

    I wish you two would write a book together. Like a Nick and Nora Charles, 2006 style. You two could pull it off, you’re great together.

  17. LaDonna

    Edie, just thinking that myself. These two are Dynomite together. In bed and out from what I’m gleaning! lol. I so believe you, Karin, you were not Naked when you opened the door. Hubby was fantasizing at 3 a.m.

  18. Sharon

    Karin – I just had to chime in and tell you the EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME! The 3:00 in the morning story!

    My husband’s been a cop for 12 years and he knocked on our door at about the same time of night. Same scenario, I was scared sick. Peeked outside, saw the cruiser, remembered he always told me if anything happened to him the chief would personally come by. So I creep to the door, not wanting to, but knowing I had to. And there he stood. All smiles.

    Know what he wanted?

    Dots. The candy.

    “Hey, I was in the area and remembered we had Dots at home and thought I’d stop and get some. But I don’t have my keys.”

    I didn’t punch him. But I felt like it!

  19. Karin

    Eli, and Raine, he does deserve another whack. Off to do give it to him.
    Theresa he needs *no* encouragement.
    Trust me, Edie, if we collborated I would hurt him–bad. 😈 That said, my agent suggested the same thing when I proposed one of his ideas to her regarding a televison series he came up with. She said, “You two write it!!!” It would make an excellent series. He passed.
    Thank you for believing me LaDonna.
    For *DOTS*!!!! Sharon! For freaking *DOTS*!!!!

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