Cop Talk Live

September 13, 2006 | Karin's Blog | 27 comments

Hi, Officer Friendly~~

I have three questions, two of which involve detectives rather than uniformed policemen. Wasn’t sure if that’d be a problem, but thought I’d ask anyway…

Do those wonderful police dogs actually live with the policemen they work with, or do they live with their trainers?

After the initial training at the kennel, a police dog is matched with a K-9 officer and together they go through additional training. The dog lives with the officer at his home and the officer receives an allowance for the care of the dog. Usually, a caged kennel of specific size must be kept at the home of the officer to keep the dog in the officer’s absence. A travel kennel is used to transport the dog to and from work. These dogs are usually a part of the officers family and when retired are given to the officer if he so desires.

Let’s say a young detective (30+ in age?) is injured in the line of duty. It’s a bad knee injury that leaves him with a limp. Would he most likely be allowed to do something else (desk job, evidence room, etc.), or probably forced into early retirement?

It all depends upon the department, the detective’s standing within the department and whether or not another job exists that he can fill. In some departments he might even be allowed to stay on the job as a detective. In some departments a medical retirement would be mandatory.

If a cop or detective wants to visit a prisoner being held without bond, does he have to verify that it’s somehow related to that particular case, or would he be allowed to do so at his own discretion?

With or without bond would have no bearing on the situation as far as I know. Normally, no one at the jail is asking why a law enforcement officer wishes to talk with someone. However, the visit would be noted and logged. That being said, the D.A. or the suspect’s attorney might want to know why an officer not related to the case paid a visit. This action by an officer not related to the case could taint the case and get it tossed. It could be viewed as harassment. It could also result in discipline of the officer involved in the form of a suspension or even termination.

Dear Officer Friendly,

Is it true that cops won’t ticket a good looking woman?

I won’t say it doesn’t happen but most of the guys I worked with, including myself, generally felt that the good looking girls got all the breaks, so, give ’em a ticket and let the less fortunate off with a warning. I’ve had female drivers expose massive cleavage, hike up their skirts, bat their eyes and do most anything that they thought would get them out of a ticket. While I always enjoyed the view and may have even lingered at the window, I always wrote the ticket. Every ticket is subjective. The officer has the power to write it or just give a warning. I always felt it was wrong to both lecture the driver and cite them. I taught my recruits to do one or the other but not both.

“Who wouldn’t you cite, Officer Friendly?” You might ask.
I never gave a ticket to a doctor, nurse, firefighter, fellow officer or a teacher. However, I have given some pretty good road side lectures to them all.




  1. Cheryel Hutton

    You wouldn’t ticket a nurse? I got a ticket once, in my nurses uniform, pulled in my patient’s driveway (I was a home health nurse), and the ONLY reason my car could even exceed the speed limit was because when he passed me I was going down a long hill (I wasn’t checking the speed, because I didn’t think the old piece of crap was capable–when he passed I automatically looked down and was above the speed limit.) He followed me for about a mile before he put on his lights just before I pulled in the patient’s driveway. To top it off, I was seriously worried about the patient, and while it wasn’t technically an emergency, my hurrying to get there would not have been out of line (not that he asked anything like that).

    So, good for you!!

  2. Officer Friendly

    Cheryel – the last thing I wanted was to wake up in the ER looking at a nurse or Doctor that I had ticketed. Hurrying to get to work, any type of work, is not an emergency nor an excemption from the law but I think you learned that the hard way. Best of luck in the future!

  3. Elisabeth

    Ugh! I wish the cop who gave me a ticket one day on my way home from school would have had that same philosophy! If you spent all day with 150+ pre-teens, wouldn’t you have wanted to get away fast too?

    (That’s a lousy excuse. I was speeding. But I still maintain he came out of nowhere. LOL Like Star Trek, he just materialized behind me.)

    Great answers, as always, Officer Friendly! Thanks so much.

  4. Karin

    Elisabeth, they like to hide.
    What is that term the truckers use?
    Smokey in the bushes.

  5. Jake

    Okay. Now I’m depressed. I get let off with a warning all the time. That must mean I deserve a break ’cause I’m not gorgeous! 🙁

  6. Officer Friendly

    It’s a “Bear” in the bushes, dear. I need to go back and reread my “A cop’s guide to ticketing” handbook about how cops must be in plain view in order to catch violators. I’m kidding you, Elisabeth. I’ve always gotten a kick out of motorist who start with, “But I didn’t even see you.” The point is, I saw you… Thanks for speeding, I mean dropping by.

  7. Karin

    Oh, stop it, Jake! You’re adorable. Those cops are sucking up, hoping you’ll write about them in your next book.

  8. Officer Friendly

    Jake – try bearing your breasts the next time you get stopped. This obvious attempt at getting out of a ticket should guarantee a citation.

  9. Edie Ramer

    My niece is married to a cop, and she drives like a maniac. Her husband only knows she was let off of a ticket when she bakes chocolate chip cookies and tells him to bring a batch to another cop. She does a lot of baking, lol.

  10. Amanda

    Poor cops! Some days a little cleavage is the most excitement they’ll see. 😆

  11. Jake

    Thanks Officer Friendly, for the professional advice. Did I mention I don’t live near you guys?

  12. Elisabeth

    LOL. I never spot them ahead of time.

    Last winter I was riding with my friend on our way home from a writer’s retreat at the beach. She was driving her hubby’s mini cooper, barefoot, really fast, chattering away. If you’ve never driven Oregon coastal roads, let me just tell you, they’re windy. She was doing at least 80 in a 55. So we’re buzzing along, I’m hanging on to the door handle for dear life, she darts a glance in the rearview mirror and notices a sheriff’s truck with its lights flashing. She starts laughing and says, “Oh no! Our writer friends behind us are getting a ticket!” I look at her, increduously, and say, “No WE’RE getting a ticket!” And she glances back at me like I’m higher than a kite. The deputy pulls us over, walks up to the door (and let me tell you, he was young and GORGEOUS) and asks if she knows why he pulled her over. She says, “Um, no. Was I doing something wrong?” I roll my eyes. Then he says, “You were speeding. I’ve been following you for over five miles and couldn’t catch you.” He then asks for her license and registration. She’s never been pulled over before (I have no idea how) and is sort of wigging out. She looks at him and says, “Um, um…where would I find that?” I start laughing. The deputy, thinking she’s pulling a fast one, tells her to look in the glove box. And as she’s searching, she starts rambling about the fact she’s got five kids and this is her husband’s car and it’s so fun to drive and we’re writers and we were away for the weekend and now are going home and are brainstorming and she didn’t realize how fast she was going. Then she adds that she’s a SAHM and her husband handles all the money and finances and takes care of the cars…and on and on and on. I’m busting up laughing. The cop is busting up laughing, and my friend is so flustered she has no idea what she’s saying. In the end, he lets her off with a warning. And as he pulls away, I say to her, “Holy crap! You’re incredible. I should have pulled that the last time I got a ticket.” And she says as innocent as can be (and totally serious), “Pulled what?”

  13. Officer Friendly

    Yeah, stopping a blonde is always an adventure. You did say she was blonde, right Elisabeth?

  14. Elisabeth

    You’d think so, wouldn’t you? 😉

    No. Brunette.

  15. Karin

    We brunettes have our moments too!

  16. Natalie R. Collins

    You wouldn’t ticket a teacher? Where the hell were YOU when I was getting pulled over, huh? I got a ticket on the way to school once, and the officer could have CARED less…

  17. Natalie R. Collins

    One time I was headed out to Wendover with two friends, and we were all THREE blondes, fairly young, fairly hot. She was doing 90 mph in a 55 mph zone. Highway Patrolman zooms up behind us, pulls us over, she pulls over onto the LEFT SIDE of the freeway (where there is no room at all) and he STILL just gave us a warning.

    I didn’t get my first speeding ticket until I was 35, fatter and older. Sigh. The good old days.

  18. raine

    I have never, ever, EVER just gotten a simple warning.
    Freaking ticket every time (although I’ve only ever gotten two…)

    Great answers, Officer–thanks for the information! 🙂

  19. Karin

    I’m knocking on wood here. I haven’t been pulled over in so many years I can’t remember the last time I did. Now that I said it, watch me get pulled over tomorrow.
    Of course when I did get pulled over, my tags were registered with the PD so…

  20. Officer Friendly

    Sometimes you get lucky, sometimes you don’t. If you were committing the violation, you deserved the ticket. If for some reason you didn’t get one, thank the Lord above and slow the hell down. One morning in heavy rush hour traffic, I stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit by 20 mph. When I got up to the car, she explained to me that she was handicapped, as if that was a reason for not getting a ticket because everyone knows handicapped people can’t speed, right? I asked what was her handicap and she pointed out that she had no legs. Glancing down I noted she had no legs. The car was operated with hand controls like a motorcycle would be. What did you do Officer Friendly? I gave her a ticket which really pissed her off! The kicker was I made her crawl back to my car to sign it!

  21. Officer Friendly

    Wow! What a cold room. A prime example of “cop humor”. While I didn’t and wouldn’t do such a thing, when told by my squad members that I was a cold dude for giving a legless lady a cite, I responded with, “If you think that was cold, you shold have been there when I made her crawl back to my car to sign the cite.” The room fell apart. Have a nice day, ladies.

  22. Karin

    Ahh, blue humor. I understand the self preservation aspect, and well, I would never want to walk a few steps in your combat boots much less a mile. That said, do you think, Officer Friendly, that perhaps in the near future you could tell us about it? I know you guys deal with a lot of shit, and to cope, sometimes your humor has a darker edge to it them most of us can appriciate, but would you be willing to chat about it some time? Or is that hitting to close to home for you?

  23. Amanda

    Officer Friendly, thank you for a great example of cop humor. The general public asks how we deal with the crap that flows everyday. Ladies, this is how. Sometimes its crude, rude, and obnoxious. But for cops, it lets off alot of steam. Thanks.

  24. Theresa

    Officer Friendly,

    The joke didn’t offend me, really. I just saw it. lol.

    I’ve got a book of cop slang, talk about dark edges. The two that stick in my mind are *donorcycle* for a motorcycle and *making a canoe* for autopsy.

    On tickets– my mom bragged for years that she’d never gotten a ticket. And then one day, while I was riding with her she got stopped. The officer was very nice, very polite and my mom started shaking. her voice was shaking so hard she could hardly top, and her hands were shaking so hard she keep dropping things. The cop, became so worried she was going to have a heart attack or stroke he started comforting her. The kicker was when she started to cry== just little tiny tears out the corner of her eyes. And this was no put on, that’s how rattled she was. The cop fled without even giving her a warning.

    Of course, good daughter that I am, when ever she brings up her no ticket driving record, I have to bring this incident up.


  25. Karin

    Too funny about your mom, Theresa.
    And I’m glad you got the ‘blue humor.’
    It’s all a part of real cop life.

  26. Cheryel Hutton

    Officer Friendly said”
    “Cheryel – the last thing I wanted was to wake up in the ER looking at a nurse or Doctor that I had ticketed. Hurrying to get to work, any type of work, is not an emergency nor an excemption from the law.”

    With all due respect, I wasn’t just “going to work.” The family was concerned enough about the patient to call and ask for a nurse to come and evaluate whether or not the patient needed immediate attention. While I was standing in the driveway, in full uniform with my ID, I was asking questions of the family member standing out in the yard while the cop was giving me a ticket for going only a little too fast. I was definitely more concerned about the woman than about the ticket.

    Several times I’ve been summoned to a patient’s home only to have to quickly call an ambulance””sometimes while performing CPR. And for the record, I’m a Registered Nurse who’s worked in more than one emergency room””or was until I became too disabled to continue.

  27. Officer Friendly

    Cheryel, with all due respect, I’m sure there have also been times when you were summoned to do the same and no emergency existed. Had it been an actual emergency, the family should have dialed 911. Then, an emergency vehicle with proper lights and siren could respond. For the public at large and you personally, this is a much safer option.

    “Letter of the law, spirit of the law.” The officer always has the option to exercise good judgement, as do we all.

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