A little birdie told me Officer Friendly isn’t feeling well, so pray for his wife ‘er for him to get better soon.
So, I’m going to take his spot today.
I spoke a couple of months ago over at Murdershewrites about what my message was. In that, what would I talk about if I were to given the chance to speak on television or radio? Because quite frankly, those venues are not interested in your book, they are interested in your message. So for me, it was easy. Boiled down, my message is empowering women.
My heroines are ladies who do not need rescuing. They are the rescuers. My heroes are along for the ride.
So this past weekend, as you all know my dear friend Josie Brown and I hit the greater LA area—hard—they are still reeling. 🙂 The impetus was an invitation I received from a wonderful lady who heads up a readers group at the Burbank BN to come down and speak to her group. Their topic for the November meeting was strong heroines. How could I say no? I asked Josie if she’d drive down with me, she said, hell yes, and then I thought, hmm, maybe the readers group would like to hear Josie chat as well. And so they graciously extended an invitation to her.
So off we go and without going into detail about the stock signings and the wonderful booksellers we met along the way, the true reason for this trip presented itself after the reader’s group meeting.
During the Q&A part of the presentation, I asked one of the gals who had asked me a question regarding crit partners if she also wrote. She said she did. After the Q&A she came up to the table for me to sign a book. We began to chat about crit partners, what line she was targeting and just the state of her writing in general. I could tell something was bothering her. She did open up a little and tell me that the group of writers who had looked at her work all had different things to say, and some of them were less than nice about it. I explained that taking criticism was hard for some, but she needed to grow a thick skin. Not to take it personally, that to grow, one had to be honest about their work, and take crits with a grain of salt. Still I felt something deeper was going on beneath this wonderful lady’s smile. Our conversation ended while I signed another book and chatted with that reader. A former exotic dancer no less!
After an enlightening conversation with the former exotic dancer, my conversation resumed with the other gal, and she shared a few heartfelt thoughts with me. I listened. Then it dawned on me. This writer was trying to force herself into a hole she didn’t fit into. A square peg if you will into a tiny circle. It wasn’t working. She was frustrated and the ladies critting her story continued to try to bend her work into something it wasn’t, in essence forcing her to fit their tight little circle, some doing it quite nastily.
When I asked, “Why are your trying to fit where you don’t belong?” She teared up, and said, “I don’t know.” She truly did not know, but as she said the words, it dawned on her she didn’t have to fit with them or the line she was killing herself writing. Well, I got a bit emotional too. I could see how hurt she was, how frustrated and how much she loved to write but felt inadequate because of what these ladies had put her through. I told her she needed to immediately separate herself from all of that negative energy. That it sounded like some of these ladies were insecure and had their own issues, and that negative energy bred more negative energy. I also told her she needed to cast her writing net further, to write what came naturally to not pigeon hole herself because someone else told her to. I told her she must be true to herself first.
While this may not sound like a big deal to most, it was an epiphany for her, and for me.
I realized at that moment my purpose on this earth wasn’t to write books. My books are only the instrument to get me in touch with people. And to being touched by them. We hugged, and she promised to keep in touch. I felt euphoric. I felt like I made a difference in a person’s life.
It also got me to thinking about all the nasty bitches out there in the real world as well as the cyber world. It made me think of this bullshit with OJ Simpson. Why do people swarm then feed off other people’s pain? What gives? Are so many people so miserable themselves they feel the need to hurt others? And how many do it under the guise of, I’m only telling the truth. Funny, while the truth can and does hurt, it doesn’t have to send a person to the hospital.
Has our society become so mean, so insecure, so vicious we hurt others for the sheer joy of drawing an audience? Shame on all of you who instigate it, and those of you who fan the flames.
Perhaps there is hope. I believe humanity took a giant step forward when News Corp. decided against publishing and airing the If I Did It interview and book.
I feel my purpose is to in the form of workshops and speeches open the eyes of those who have for whatever reason been the brunt of negative entities, who have stalled because of it, show them how to clear it, then guide them to a cleaner more positive life. Kind of like emotional fung shui.
Just thinking of how and what will go into a workshop is daunting, especially with my writing schedule, but I will persevere.
So, as most of us have at one time in our lives been the target of some undeserving nasty arrows, how do you manage your way through it? Or do you? I find that many people tend to hold on tightly to it, to believe it. Why?